The Beginning of the School Year is NOT for the Weak
Summer is coming to an end, the kids are nuts and your to do list to get them ready is endless. It can be especially overwhelming for a first time school mama. When you have your first school aged child, you want to ensure they’re in the best care and have so many questions. It’s understandable! So before you walk into your child’s school, I am going to help you understand the difference of the various events that are held for parents in the fall. This way you can confidently navigate each of them and gather the information needed at each.
I’m going to give you a little bit of a different perspective too. I want you to see what is entailed with each of these events. Their purposes are to help you be prepared, and help you remain on the same team as your child’s teacher to better support your child.
Typically, the beginning of each school year is heavy loaded with forms, reminders, sign ups, and back to school events. There are three events that occur each year: Meet the Teacher, Open House, and Conference Nights. Although, these seem the same, they’re not, I promise. So, let’s dive in.
Meet The Teacher
First, we have Meet the Teacher. You all know it is at the beginning of the school year, typically before the first day. This allows your child to see their new classroom and for you to gather up forms, drop off those supplies, and the teacher say, “Can’t wait to see you!” Then you’re headed home or off to the next child’s teacher. Easy enough, right?
As a parent, it pretty much is that simple. However, for your child’s teacher… it isn’t. They get their classroom ready in between several meetings in a matter of a few days. Then they develop the materials they need to better inform you for the upcoming school year. These typically include: newsletters, meet the teacher forms, student forms, calendars, and routine explanations. In addition to the forms teachers create, they have school forms provided by the school administration to distribute. In essence, it is like preparing to go on a vacation with multiple toddlers…a lot of checklists and a lot to do in a short amount of time with lots of interruptions. Just like naptime and bedtime can be the best times to get things done…before and after school hours are typically the best for teachers as well (just unpaid).
With that said, when parents don’t show up, because they think we’ll just get the forms from the kiddos on the first day, it shows we’re not on the same team as the teacher. Which is not the message we want to send Bestie. Being on the same team as our child’s teacher is pivotal for our child’s success. It also conveys to our kiddos the importance of their education. So even if you feel it is a waste… show up. Let your kiddo walk around and check the room out (this could also ease any worries they might have), then grab the forms and head out. Keep…it…simple! It’s a great time for brief introductions, but not lengthy conversations. This person has several families to meet, and while the teacher will love hearing about your child, we need to save lengthy conversations for another day to respect this person’s time. We are important to our teacher…but no one parent is the MOST important.
Next up, Open House
Ok, we got in, we got out, and made a presence for our kiddo. Now there is a stretch of time in between Meet the Teacher and Open House/Curriculum Night. Typically, around mid-September there is another event for parents to attend that will provide greater insight into their child’s grade level curriculum. Some schools call this Open House, other schools call it Curriculum Night. There might even be another name your child’s school has come up with. Regardless of the name…the message is the same. Come in one evening to learn about what your child is expected to accomplish that school year. Now I know some of you live for these events and want to learn ALL THE THINGS! While others would rather have a tooth extracted than waste precious hours sitting listening to the curriculum. No matter how YOU feel about it…your child knows that it is important for you to attend. Which makes the event important. Our kids share our sentiments towards their education, and it is important for them to know you care about what they are learning. Curriculum nights are also a great way to meet all the teachers working with your child, the school counselors, and the club supervisors! If nothing else, use this time to get a greater understanding of who is involved in your child’s day.
Once you’ve sat through one presentation, it may seem like you’ve sat through them all. Why do they make this so late? I really don’t want to stay because I’m going to get stuck in traffic trying to get out! What am I going to do for dinner? Who is getting my other child to soccer tonight? I get it, I really do! Things are moving in your schedule at this point too and adding another event really doesn’t seem like it is going to work out. But let me give you a little insight into these nights for the staff.
Remember, most of their time during the day is spent prepping for the next lesson, making copies, transitioning from place to place with the class and shoving food in their mouths at lunch in a 15- minute time span. Then once the kids have been dismissed, there is about an hour left in their paid day, which is usually consumed with meetings. When do they prep for Curriculum Night? You guessed it! Before or after paid hours! Your child’s teacher needs to make a presentation that consolidates a year’s worth of curriculum into Spark Notes. This takes time, energy, and patience. Each teacher wants to deliver the content in a way that won’t bore you and make you regret coming. They also are trying to get this done and be with their loved ones as well. I’m sure they had to find someone to help watch their children, dogs, family members to be able to stay late at school to present this content to you. Even though it is school, they are not allowed to have their kids attend these events as it is deemed unprofessional. I can guarantee your child’s teacher will present with a smile on their face like they haven’t taught all day.
Despite the toll these late nights take on EVERYONE’S family…they are worth it. Your child will understand you care about their education and their teacher. They will ultimately be proud you went because you got to share in their world. A teacher with a full classroom of parents feels gratitude and utmost support which fuels her to do great things for the kids. Staff members who get to chat and support families during these nights also feel the reminder of why they chose such a challenging profession. Before you write off this event…check it out. You will learn some things, get clarification, and support the people who take the best care of the kiddos during the day.
At this point, you have realized the first two events at the beginning of the year do not lend themselves for lengthy conversations with teachers. It might be tempting when you see another parent securing one on one time with the teacher…but I PROMISE YOU…that teacher did not intend for that to happen. Meet the Teacher and Curriculum Nights are meant to spread general information. These are not times to have mini conferences. If you feel you need to have a more in-depth conversation about your child’s academics, you can reach out via email, phone, or note. Or you can wait and talk to the teacher on Conference Night.
Conference Night
By the end of the first grading period, teachers will send home a sign-up form for Conference Night. This might be through your school’s online portal, google docs, Sign Up Genius, or a hard copy flyer. Whichever the mode, this is the time to sign up once you see it. It is going to go first come first serve…so sign up quickly! You’ll be able to discuss any academic or behavioral concerns you have noticed as well as the upcoming report card. Even if your child seems to be getting good marks, it is important to go and check in. You can learn how you can best support your child at home, which can make all the difference. Conferences are not always for those who are falling behind. It is the one chance to consult with your child’s teacher to learn specifically about your child. Take advantage of it!
Much like the other two events, teachers need to prep for conferences as well for them to run smoothly and efficiently. This typically involves writing out conference notes prior to meeting with you (which is insanely time-consuming). Another preparation tactic is to gather examples of your child’s work, grade level reading materials, and anything else that might display your child’s personality.
The preparation is not as time-consuming as the other two events, but please keep in mind teachers want to put their best foot forward with parents. They want you to know how much they care about your child, how well they know your child, and how your specific child is progressing in class. Teachers do not have conferences to exploit your child or make you feel as if you don’t know your child. If this occurs, you always have the right to reschedule and request an additional person to sit in on the conference. When I was in the classroom, I let my parents know they were the MVP with their child, and I just supported them. It was and still is always about being on the same team as the parents.
Before your conference time, write down any questions you might have for the teacher, so you don’t forget them during the meeting. This is also important due to time constraints. Although teachers would love to spend hours talking to you, they have very limited windows of time to be able to meet with each parent. If your questions are not answered, or there are lingering topics, request to email them these questions. This way they can answer them with more time and thought. It also helps you have things in writing if there are any discrepancies. Hopefully between the conference and any follow up emails…you will feel firm with where your child stands and the next steps that need to be taken to help them succeed!
There are a lot of things that can be perceived as frivolous or time consuming as parents. Especially when we are working to keep structure and routine while transitioning back to school. However, there are always exceptions with school events. Showing up to these means showing up for your kids. Which all mamas strive to do on a regular basis. This also lets the teacher know you care about their time, efforts, and preparations that go into these events. All of this helps create a rapport that is influential in your child’s education. If you are questioning attending…GO! I promise you won’t regret it. Carpool and tag team with another mama friend. Going together, you can tag team kiddos and presentations while sharing a few laughs. Now go grab that extra coffee and support that teacher. You got this Mama!