Help! My Kid Doesn’t Want To Go Back To School!

Woo! It’s a new school year and boy the feelings are bittersweet with summer coming to an end. No more refereeing or handing out snacks seven hundred times a day. In just a few short months, our babies are that much older!

But a new school year can bring an assortment of emotions for your littles. Whether they are going to preschool or middle school, each year brings an unknown. New classroom, new teacher(s), new routines, new friends, and sometimes a new school. Imagine adjusting to a new job every year and learning an entirely new routine…it could be really overwhelming, right? A child has the potential of having these feelings as well with less capability to express them appropriately. Let’s break down a few ways we can support our little ones as they start the new school year.

Trial Runs

One way to relieve any worries is to hop in the car and take a drive. Take your kiddos to their school and go through the car line. Give an overview of what car lines might look like in the mornings and afternoons to help them understand expectations. For example, in the morning there will be other cars waiting to drop their students off. There will also be adults to help parents and students. When we get to a stopping point, an adult will open the door and we will say, “Goodbye, have a great day!” Then you will get out and walk to class or an adult will walk with you. In the afternoon, tell them you will be waiting for them and can’t wait to hear about their day! Remind them they will wait in the assigned area where their teacher will drop them off. Wait until your name is called by an adult and go to the assigned cone. Once mama’s car is at the curb, wait until the door is opened for you. Then we can head home to get a snack!

If your child is riding the bus, you can go to the bus stop and discuss similar routines. For example, in the morning we will drive to the stop. I will wait in the car until you get on the bus. You will stand here and pay attention to others. When the bus arrives, I want you to wave back, so I know you’re ready to go. Then in the afternoon, I will be waiting for you and will be so excited to hear about your day! Then we’ll go home and have a snack! If your child is riding the bus, I advise you to discuss being aware of your surroundings in age-appropriate terms. I like to say “tricky people” instead of strangers when addressing people that we want them to stay away from. We want our children to know there are some strangers who can help them if they get lost or are hurt in an emergency. But we can dive deeper into this another day.

During these trial rides, you can broach conversations with your kiddos about what they’re looking forward to, what they hope to learn, what they think their teacher will be like, which friends they’re excited to see, and how they’re feeling overall about the upcoming year. Focusing on the positive allows your child to realize all the good that can happen in the school year.

If your child still seems anxious, go grab a treat…even if they run into the Dollar Tree to get something small. Then go back to the school and address any concern they may have about the school year. Kids love to talk when they feel less pressure. Having the treat and driving around can help them feel at ease letting you know where their head is at. Remember Mama, we can’t fix every problem, but we can listen!

Getting our kids back to school is already hard enough, but if you have one who is worried it makes it that much harder. I get it…my girl is a highly sensitive kiddo who likes to know things in advance to help her feel prepared. So, a trial run is key for us! However, even if your child isn’t worried, providing a concrete example of the routine will help your first few days go much smoother.

Become an Author

Don’t panic, besties! I don’t mean for you to write a novel and look for a publisher. All I mean is create a small story that describes your child’s routine. Think of how you run the morning routine… do they get dressed first, do they eat first, do they come in your room and wake you up, do you wake them up, are there animals they must feed, or what do they eat on a typical weekday morning? Try to imagine as many specific details as possible in the morning. Then create a storyline that describes their weekdays from the moment they get up until they go to school and add how they get home as your ending. Another thing to think about. If your child goes to daycare, a family member’s house specific days, or another parent’s house specific days, it would be helpful to add those specifics in the story as well.

I promise, it does not take long to make this story. You already keep track of this routine and schedule in your head daily! Try using verbiage you use at home, their names, siblings’ names, pet’s names, examples of breakfasts, their teacher’s names, etc. to make it as specific as you possibly can. Once the book is put together, read it every day or night before and during the first few weeks of school. This repetition will help them feel confident in the school routine.

Seriously, I wouldn’t recommend this idea if I hadn’t done it myself! I have created these stories for my daughter over the past two years while she’s attended a local preschool and she has loved them. Using her name and common phrases we use helped her feel more at ease with this big transition. Did she cry the first few days…YES! Did she learn that she was safe, and the story matched her day…also YES! Did my illustrations look like she could have drawn them…big fat YES! While it may not prevent meltdowns initially, it will help ease the meltdowns much quicker.

Circle of Control

We know there is only so much we can control…even if it’s not what we like to hear. Kids don’t always understand this concept. Unfortunately, this is where worries and anxiety stem from. A great activity to use for any kiddos nervous for a new year is the Circle of Control. You can either use a template or simply get a sheet of paper and draw one large circle with another smaller inside of the large circle. Talk about things they are in control of and put those in the small circle. These can include what they choose to eat in the morning, what they wear, who they talk to once they’re at school, the way they walk to class, choices they make at school, etc. Then you can discuss things they are not in control of, such as: who their teacher is, how they get to school, who they sit next to, etc. Finding little things they have control over will empower your child. This activity will also help give a concrete visual for a very abstract concept which is always ideal with smaller ones. To take it one step further, you can include examples for yourself in the circles in a different color to help them understand they are not alone.

Hopefully, with some of these tips you and your little one will feel more secure with starting the new year! Each new year can bring new worries, but they can also bring new joy, new memories, and new friends! With a little prep work, your little ones can feel better about starting a new year which will hopefully ease your stress as well. You got this, Mama!